Showing posts from 2016

Holiday Goodies Just For You!


Enabling - The Part We Play - Part 4 of Addiction is a Family Disease

(Image courtesy of
ENABLING:  The  Part We Play
The hand is held out yet it's dirty, because that is exactly what we do when enabling our addicts, even though we don't realize it. We aren't helping them, we are enabling their addiction.
How many of you at some point and time have done any of the following things?
Went searching for them in the middle of thenight?Searched their vehicle looking for alcohol or drugs?Paidtheirbillsbecausetheydidn'thavemoney (sincealltheirmoneywasspenton alcohol ordrugs)?Made excuses for them to family andfriends?Bailed them out ofjail?Paid their court fees or fines?Helped them find a job?Bought them avehicle?Walked on egg shells around them afraid to trigger anoutburst?

I've accomplished all of the above except one (searching in the middle of the night) numerous times over the years. With every single act, I thought I was doing the right thing--the loving, supportive thing--for my addict. These are all things we have done that …

The Control and Blame Game - Part 3 of Addiction is a Family Disease

Trying to control it
As family members of addicts, we often try everything we can think of to get our loved one to stop drinking or using drugs. We feel responsible for making sure they are okay and that they have everything wefeel they need. This usually leaves us feeling frustrated. We tell ourselves that surely there is somethingwecando,buttherealityis,theaddictsthemselvescan’tevencontrol it.
So how in the world are WE going to get themto?
If the addict is not ready to reach out for help, guess what? Our efforts to try and force them to admit they need help usually cause more issues. Only when the consequences of their addiction become painful enough will they reach out for help. Unfortunately, we can’t force them to get help and there is not much we can do until they realize they have a problem and reach out for that help. We can however step back and hand the controls back to the one who CAN control it. By doing that, we relieve so much pressure that we have put on ourselves from t…

Ruined Wings takes flight!


How Do You Do This? - Part 2 of Addiction is a Family Disease

Part 2 of the series is below, taken from the literature handed out by Families in Addiction (Hot Springs, Arkansas - with their permission). 
Just like my addict, I thought I could handle things on my own.
You can't.
It will break you to the point you can't think straight.
Take a minute, breathe, and realize you are just as addicted as your addict. Your drug of choice is them.
God bless all of you reading this and remember: YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
Stay strong,

Thisisthe#1questionwe allask, followed by: 1.Howdo I getthroughthismess? 2.Howdo I stopenabling? 3.Am I   lovingtheaddicttodeath? 4.Howdo I just “WAIT”?